[kellytarlots.wordpress.com] “I NEED YOU” AND “I WANT YOU” – IN DIFFERENT CASES

Two “need” and “want” terms are seemly referred to a lot in the economic realm. In this realm, they are easy to distinguish because of only based on the purchasing motivation of a person to determine. However, these words become more complicated when I consider them in different situations. I must say that it will be perilous if I use these rashly

LOVE

In the perspective of love, these two words are sensitive above all cases. Specifically, you should be careful whenever you say “I want you” unless you want your girl/boyfriend to misunderstand that you are just taking advantage of her/him for your physiology demand, and you should be serious whenever you say “I need you” if you don’t have the intention to maintain a long-time relationship with her/him.
In my point of view, in love, “want” is more about sex and pleasure, while “need” is more about being ahead of the limitation of sex. Hence, I define true love which stems from the dependency on each other and each side leans on (or needs) each other to maintain and develop the relationship. Reversely, pragmatic love is when each side expects (or wants) each other as a tool to meet, serve, and satisfy the normal demand. Thus, when a person says that “I need you”, which means that he/she respects you and nurtures a sustainable future dream with you. In converse, when a person says that “I want you”, which means that he/she is only exploiting you; once he/she can possess you, he/she does not need to keep you.
You are the only one to someone who feels deprived without you and needs you to fill up that person’s space in the heart. Otherwise, you do not play an important role in someone’s life if that person wants you because other countless people can be willing to satisfy that person’s demand apart from you.
Conclude: In the love aspect, “I need you” is positive, “I want you” is negative

Marriage

In the marriage context, in most of the cases that love gradually turns into overshadowed, responsibility comes to the throne instead; as a result, both sides tie to each other. The evaluation of the two terms “want” and “need” in this family aspect is permuted, which means that “need” is negative, while “want” is positive.
I think that, normally, in the family relationship, the partners often chafe that their wife/husband does not totally understand about their daily works. They slowly birth the negative thoughts of each other and repute their spouse as dependents. They think that their spouse cannot live without them as the penetrability becomes exhausted. Ultimately, they consider themselves the needed persons.
However, the couples may needn’t each other because both of them are adults. In family life, the insiders have to share the sundry duties relating to house works, which arises the dependent psychology. Consequently, the spouse thinks that their life will not be perfect without the other. Albeit, in fact, a wife can live without her husband’s support, and reverse; of course, people undergoing a broken marriage understand this fact most.
For instance, Lisa Arends – an author of Lesson from the End of a Marriage blogs shared that she mistakenly thought that she actually needed the attachment from her husband until she realized she could survive well after saying goodbye to him. Previously, she had never navigated adulthood without him because he could support her in work, maintain and upgrade their home on the cheap by his impressive carpentry, or soothe her when she felt stressed. However, she was wrong. That is a great lesson she could learn from her first marriage.
Sometimes, being needed can feel good because it gives you purpose and duty in the marriage life. It awakes self-confidence and helps reduce the feelings of being alone because if someone needs you, he/she is unlikely to leave you. Nevertheless, if being needed is too much, it makes you feel burdened and seemly stuck in a prison.
As a result, in the marriage context, you may desire to be wanted than to be needed because being wanted makes you still valuable and attractive in the eyes of your partner. “Need” is the basic thing, while “want” is beyond that basis.
Conclude, in the marriage aspect, “I need you” is negative, “I want you” is positive

 

 

FRIENDSHIP

In friendship, people often use “need” or “don’t need” than “want” or “don’t want” because the “want” term implies a possession that seemly less appears. Unlike in marriage life or work environment, friendship is intrinsically equal. Once the equality is destroyed, that relationship is ruined.
In friendship, when people need someone who also needs them, it symbols a reciprocal relationship. To be more specific, you and your close friend always need mutually when you would like to share something relating to life, work, family, study, etc., and expect support and help from the other. In this case, both of you are beneficial, so both are equal. The more equal reciprocity is maintained, the more the friendship is nurtured and developed.
For instance, you may want a friend to go to the movie with you, but you need that friend to be punctual. So, “want” only describes an offer while “need” plays the coequal standard allowing the relationship to be healthy, trust, and respectful.
In addition, the state of “want” in friendship is easy to lead to exploitation. It means that when someone wants you, they tend to want to take something from you. They are taking advantage of you to benefit themselves.
Conclude: In the friendship aspect, “I need you” is positive, “I want you” is negative

WorkING environment

You can evaluate whether your seniors are good leaders or not by paying attention to the attitude when they transmit information or a requirement. There is a difference between a boss and a leader. A boss uses power to dominate the workplace and force the subordinates to do regarding his/her requirement. Thus, a boss often uses “I want you” more than “I need you”. Whereas, a leader uses power to help you be better. A leader normally is positive, empowering, inspiring, and acting for the development of all collective. Hence, a leader often says “I need you” more than “I want you”.
For example, a boss will say “I want you to give me a marketing idea within this afternoon”, and a leader will slap your back and say “I need you to propose to me a marketing idea as soon as possible so that we can catch up with the process of project”.
If you work with a boss, you are less respected because you are tied by his/her authority, then you are forced to do according to his/her commands without speaking up. In some cases, you may have a chance to speak up, but your idea will not be easy to accept. It is because your boss had the decision in the head, and listening to your idea just ensures the process is obeyed or hides the monopoly of the boss. Consequently, he/she only wants you to serve his/her decisions.
Reversely, if you work with a leader, you have many opportunities to voice your ideas and those ideas will be respected, absorbed, and considered. The work environment is operated basing on the team mechanism than hierarchy. Therefore, you are needed to contribute to any project of the whole team. The leader is responsible for leading you and the team to the joint objective.
Conclude: In the workplace, “I need you” is positive, “I want you” is negative

This blog is my personal view, i hope you read it in an open-hearted state!

https://kellytarlots.wordpress.com/2021/09/23/i-need-you-and-i-want-you-in-different-cases

Wow 😐

Hi Kelly 🙂

You seem to have a lot of guts — I am speechless. Amazing! 😀 But also foolish? 😯

What makes you think you have such a level of sensitivity of these sorts of concepts — are you a native speaker of English? Do you study the English language? Are you an academic? Or do you simply feel confident enough to share your own insights this way?

🙂 Norbert

https://kellytarlots.wordpress.com/2021/09/23/i-need-you-and-i-want-you-in-different-cases/comment-page-1/?unapproved=3&moderation-hash=c7113fe4ed61a90a36144367c45d116f#comment-3

#english, #language, #love, #need, #needed, #needing, #needs, #relationship, #relationships, #want, #wanted, #wanting, #wants, #work

I just woke up today feeling very blessed and grateful so I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart

I’ve been blogging for AGES already, but this JAX project is something new + exciting.

At first US + THEM categories appeared crystal clear, within a few days their appearance have already become quite murky. Yet never fear, IDK why but it sounds good.

Today I read this post on Small Town Girl’s blog (the other day I was wondering whether she is a girl from a small town, or perhaps she is a short lady who happens to be a town girl?):

It’s a great feeling to know that whenever I get a sudden, random urge to let out my innermost thoughts and feelings, I have a platform that’s ready and waiting for me to start typing and hit ‘publish’.

https://sauj4.com/2020/04/27/id-just-like-to-thank-you

This degree of AWESOMEness is of course unparalleled — except for any of the other hundreds of blogs I manage, or the many thousands of posts + sites I read, interact with, participate in, collaborate on, sort of within you and without you, all the time, for weeks, months, years, even decades since I gave up writing HTML by hand.

There are pros and cons of hitchhiking across the universe of prose and messages, sailing and surfing, flying and crashing, mashing up, tearing down, discovering new horizons. I wrote about what it means to not lose your orientation last week:

Language builds connections — insofar as it is meaningful.

https://contextual.news.blog/2020/04/22/introduction-to-rational-media-content-vs-container

I am also gushingly happy and elated that a community exists which I feel also understands language much the way I do, too. We are able to navigate to the destination almost as if instinctively, and get to the point without losing track of the big picture. We share real space, real life, cyberspace and one world.

It’s enough. It’s for all of us. We are engaged, we will work towards mutual understanding, to communicate using sufficiently similar linguistic technologies (such as compatible expressions, standarized languages, etc.).

#blog, #blogging, #blogs, #community, #language, #languages, #linguistic, #linguistics, #participate, #participation, #share, #shared, #sharing, #wordpress

[https://upperperk.wordpress.com] “Staying connected in a disconnected world”

There are few people I know who are more involved in others’ lives the way I am. That is not meant as a slight to others or a pat on the back to me. I use it as information to give credibility to the information I plan to share. As soon as this virus hit, my world of connecting spun out of control. Normally I literally sit with 10 to 12 people a week outside of meetings and my other church and life responsibilities. As a result, I had to take a hard look at what connecting looked like now that I couldn’t connect in the traditional ways. Going into week 3 or 4, I have already lost track, let me share a few things I have learned and am learning.

  1. Rest is important. As I learned what to do, I have also learned that I too need to take this time of readjustment to do a better job of unplugging, slowing down and learning what stillness before God looks like better. So those of you driven ones like me, read and apply this first.
  2. Limit your time in the news and news feeds. What does that have to do with being connected? If you are constantly trying to stay connected with all that is available through the various sources of news and information you will literally use all your time in what can easily create additional stress, frustration and confusion. You can also go the other way and watch so much comedic snippets, videos and the like that you have no idea what and who are even alive😊. The challenge is real then to have any time to try to connect to and develop further your relationships with people.
  3. Be willing to go old school. Pick up your phone, no, not to text, but to call. Yes, I said call. You know where you hit the numbers and talk to a person on the other end? There is nothing quite like hearing a human voice when you can’t talk face to face. There are also free teleconferencing lines that you can use to talk to a group of people. Another practice I have found is writing letters. I am taking time each day to write a couple of letters of encouragement or connectivity. Taking the time to think through who and what you want to write is helpful to process the blessings you have in your life. It’s also a great way to get the kids involved. Pull out the construction paper, crayons and markers and have them write little notes or make pictures for people and mail them off.
  4. Technology can be connecting. There is tech that is all one sided but there is also interactive tech. Why not use Zoom or WebEx and invest in discipleship, Bible studies, family game nights or other creative things? Seeing a person and hearing them when you can’t be with them is a shadow of the norm but at least it is a shadow. It also grows the longing to be able to be together again.
  5. Do a drive by. There are ways to stay safe and distanced without taking risks. I have been stopped as I walked on the side of the road, had people talk to me from the sidewalk as we stood in the driveway and even chatted from car to car. There are some of you who would not feel comfortable doing that at all and others that did not even think of that and might like to try it. Above all, follow the safety guidelines set up, but these can be creative ways that you can see each other when you can’t be with each other.

These are just a few things that I have done. Maybe my thoughts will get some of your own going too. The bottom line is this: connectivity is a command not a suggestion by God. So, when you can’t connect the way you want to, why not try some alternative ways until we really can all meet again.

Hello Pastor 🙂

you mention technology — most people do not consider natural language to be a technology, but I do. For example, “connection” is a very important concept to me (and my work) — and it is via this concept (and more broadly, then technology of natural language) that I found your post.

As far as I know, (natural) language is also first and foremost in the Bible. It’s right there in Genesis 1:1 , right?

I wrote this recently:

https://jax.news.blog/2020/04/07/written-dead

Do you have an opinion on it?

Thanks!

🙂 nmw

no comment URL available

[2020-04-09 12:28 UTC]

#church, #community, #connect, #connected, #connecting, #connection, #connections, #language, #life, #relationship, #relationships, #write, #writing, #written

Written = Dead ?

Is writing — are written words — dead?

I don’t think so, but I’d like you to tell me what your opinion is.

In the meantime — while I wait — I will write down my ideas into short notes and similarly flexible media constructions.

Please: Speak up! Comment! Opine! etc.!

#alive, #dead, #death, #idea, #ideas, #language, #life, #live, #text, #word, #words, #write, #writing, #written

[irevuo.art] “Dictionary of Unusual Words”

Words and language are at the core of our identity, they allow us to define ourselves, to share our stories, and they are essential to our ability to communicate with others.

This means that there are some words out there that are impossible to translate from one language to another, or describe incredibly particular feelings, objects, or states of mind.

So, without further ado, here’s a collection of some of the most unusual words we use.

For more unusual words click here.

Vocabularies are by no means fixed — they expand and contract constantly, whether from day to day or whether from context to text (such as who we are using words to communicate with).

Much like Shakespeare, I create words in an ad hoc manner — one of my favorite such creations is the word “distrustworthy” … by which I mean something that is worthy of distrust (HMU if you want to know some such examples 😉 ).

Dictionary of Unusual Words

[2020-04-03 07:03 UTC]

#context, #contextual, #creativity, #invent, #inventive, #language, #shakespeare, #vocabularies, #vocabulary, #william-shakespeare, #words