[ankitakumari08.wordpress.com] “Attachment is not love.”

Ask most people what makes a life meaningful, and most will say relationships.
Breathe a little more. Lean, touch, and connect. The reality is, real love and real connections doesn’t come that cheaply. In love we may fight. Some of us run. We effectively cling to the other person, moving ourselves into their spaces and violate boundaries- ours and theirs. We get jealous, demanding, and emotional. We do more and then flail when we don’t get appreciated.
Attachment is not love. I may have a male best friend; you may have a female best friend. You may be attached to him or her emotionally but that isn’t love.
To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something. It does not involve addiction and compassion but rather lightness and compassion. It means being complete on your own and coping up with your partners mechanism and behaviours’. Love needs connection. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk. If you and your partner stay away make it a point to call him or her up at least for a few minutes. Love does not mean you always need to talk over phone or meet regularly. But, the generation we are in, everything is risky. Make them understand that you miss them. The lesser you talk; the more is your relationship at risk. Be focused. Don’t let your love life ruin your aim in life. Love and career are two different paths. Don’t mix them up. Never. Love for many is simply attraction, distraction and infatuation. If you feel this you are not in love my friend. Love will not die even if you don’t get physical or even if you don’t meet up regularly. Never be demanding or controlling. Never ask your partner to think as you do or to do as you say.
I have not been in many relationships. Seriousness means being loyal. If you want to take a break, want someone else as your partner, say it at once. It may hurt but do so. Never cheat on your partner. Don’t avoid falling in love. The more you avoid love; you are more likely to fall in love. Just do what you feel like. Never force yourself to do anything. They are many different types of people out there. You aren’t going to be compatible and comfortable with all of them. Be true to your partner. Open up your views, your experiences, your feelings, and your mind. Love is never perfect. If you are struggling with love, fight for it. You may succeed. Don’t just date because you don’t want to be alone or you don’t have a control over your sex hormones. Be loyal or leave. Never dream of your future. I believe in destiny. If we are meant to be together we will be, no matter what. Efforts are needed in love. You try at times and then you manage to be together for yet another couple of years. You grow up, become more mature with every passing day. And just as you start to appreciate the simplicity of being in love together, life took an obvious turn- college ended, and you start to work. Stress at work always propagates back home. Everyone needs to vent out the frustration and we understand that. Problems resurface when you couldn’t give each other the most basic thing in a relationship- time. Distance increases and things change. Don’t let this happen in your love life. Trust me it will be hard for you, very hard indeed. This is seen most in this generation. Prove this wrong. Your love story can’t be incomplete. Be strong, fight against everyone, fight against all odds, fight against all circumstances, be loyal, be true and just trust your partner and your destiny.

And even after lots of trials, if you don’t like the story you are in. Leave. You can’t let your mental peace be at risk for the sake of this relationship thing. Time heals everything.
Life will be perfect one day. Trust me.

https://ankitakumari08.wordpress.com/2020/04/30/attachment-is-not-love/comment-page-1/#comment-1

and … so what?

[2020-04-30 07:53 UTC]

#attach, #attached, #attaching, #attachment, #connect, #connected, #connection, #free, #freedom, #liberty, #love, #loyal, #relationship, #relationships

[https://upperperk.wordpress.com] “Staying connected in a disconnected world”

There are few people I know who are more involved in others’ lives the way I am. That is not meant as a slight to others or a pat on the back to me. I use it as information to give credibility to the information I plan to share. As soon as this virus hit, my world of connecting spun out of control. Normally I literally sit with 10 to 12 people a week outside of meetings and my other church and life responsibilities. As a result, I had to take a hard look at what connecting looked like now that I couldn’t connect in the traditional ways. Going into week 3 or 4, I have already lost track, let me share a few things I have learned and am learning.

  1. Rest is important. As I learned what to do, I have also learned that I too need to take this time of readjustment to do a better job of unplugging, slowing down and learning what stillness before God looks like better. So those of you driven ones like me, read and apply this first.
  2. Limit your time in the news and news feeds. What does that have to do with being connected? If you are constantly trying to stay connected with all that is available through the various sources of news and information you will literally use all your time in what can easily create additional stress, frustration and confusion. You can also go the other way and watch so much comedic snippets, videos and the like that you have no idea what and who are even alive😊. The challenge is real then to have any time to try to connect to and develop further your relationships with people.
  3. Be willing to go old school. Pick up your phone, no, not to text, but to call. Yes, I said call. You know where you hit the numbers and talk to a person on the other end? There is nothing quite like hearing a human voice when you can’t talk face to face. There are also free teleconferencing lines that you can use to talk to a group of people. Another practice I have found is writing letters. I am taking time each day to write a couple of letters of encouragement or connectivity. Taking the time to think through who and what you want to write is helpful to process the blessings you have in your life. It’s also a great way to get the kids involved. Pull out the construction paper, crayons and markers and have them write little notes or make pictures for people and mail them off.
  4. Technology can be connecting. There is tech that is all one sided but there is also interactive tech. Why not use Zoom or WebEx and invest in discipleship, Bible studies, family game nights or other creative things? Seeing a person and hearing them when you can’t be with them is a shadow of the norm but at least it is a shadow. It also grows the longing to be able to be together again.
  5. Do a drive by. There are ways to stay safe and distanced without taking risks. I have been stopped as I walked on the side of the road, had people talk to me from the sidewalk as we stood in the driveway and even chatted from car to car. There are some of you who would not feel comfortable doing that at all and others that did not even think of that and might like to try it. Above all, follow the safety guidelines set up, but these can be creative ways that you can see each other when you can’t be with each other.

These are just a few things that I have done. Maybe my thoughts will get some of your own going too. The bottom line is this: connectivity is a command not a suggestion by God. So, when you can’t connect the way you want to, why not try some alternative ways until we really can all meet again.

Hello Pastor 🙂

you mention technology — most people do not consider natural language to be a technology, but I do. For example, “connection” is a very important concept to me (and my work) — and it is via this concept (and more broadly, then technology of natural language) that I found your post.

As far as I know, (natural) language is also first and foremost in the Bible. It’s right there in Genesis 1:1 , right?

I wrote this recently:

https://jax.news.blog/2020/04/07/written-dead

Do you have an opinion on it?

Thanks!

🙂 nmw

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[2020-04-09 12:28 UTC]

#church, #community, #connect, #connected, #connecting, #connection, #connections, #language, #life, #relationship, #relationships, #write, #writing, #written